Bourque Bork’s His Way to 2 Borks

Sorry this is so late, I’d come up with a creative excuse but I don’t have one. So live with the fact lap 16 on your hockey blog run was a little late and we can all move on with our lives.

This past Saturday the Bruins continued their domination of the Maple Leafs, winning their seventh in a row dating back to last year’s drubbings. This game was a lot closer, and certainly looked more like a Claude Julien-coached Bruins game than the wide open debacle in Boston on Thursday.

Despite the 1-0 score, the Bruins definitely had the better of the play. As Cam Charon from The Leafs Nation noted in his post-game write-up, the Bruins out chanced the Leafs 15-7, including a 12-4 advantage at even strength. The Bruins used their size and skill to attack a Leafs team with a young, inexperienced defense, and a team also reeling from some injuries up front.

The Bruins are in the midst of one their longest breaks of the season, having three full days off before taking on the goddamn Montreal Canadiens on Wednesday. Good thing too, since Marchand, Paille and Thornton are all hurting and there’s a chance none of them play mid-week.

Almost more important than the goal is noticing that Colton Orr was on the ice. (Frank Gunn/The Canadian Press)

Faces

I’ve been pretty hard on Chris Bourque this year, both at even strength and on the power play. Like a lot of Bruins fans, I questioned whether or not he was NHL-calibre or just an oustanding AHL player. Well, this goal doesn’t really change my view all that much, but it was really nice to see the kid get his first as a Bruins and pay tribute to this dad. It was a great passing play from the third line, who’s been significantly better over the last two games. Granted, it was scored against the ‘Haha, Holy Shit…For Real?’ line of Colton Orr, Frazer McLaren and Dave Steckel, but it still counts. Here’s hoping it’s a catalyst for a little more. (Still, take him off the fucking power play).

As a Bruins fan you have to applaud the idiocy of Randy Carlyle, coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs, who elected to play a lineup which included the aforementioned Orr, McLaren and Steckel, but also Mike ‘Lucic’s Punching Bag’ Komisarek and Mark Fraser. I guess it pays to be hyped in the media to no end as a tough team, because weak teams will make themselves even weaker so as to not get pushed around. In the fight department anyway, on the scoreboard it’s just a mess.

Quick shout out to Lane MacDermid for taking on Mark ‘Haha, Holy Shit…For Real?’ Fraser on two different occasions. While the first was a close, spirited affair, Lane the Destroyer whipped his ass in round 2 – and in doing so made all the folks in Boston that think John Scott beating up Shawn Thornton is reason for crisis sleep a little better. And for the record, those people are idiots.

Heels

The referees, again. Two goals called back in this game that both should have been goals. Minimal interference on Rask who was outside of the blue paint is a real head scratcher, though it doesn’t seem nearly as bad as the garbage that happened to the Senators in Montreal on Sunday afternoon. It’s another poor call in a long line of similar calls that are making goalies untouchable, diving machines. The sooner you put a stop to it the better, NHL. Otherwise we’re going to have a serious problem, if we don’t already.

Bard Marchand getting hurt is never a good thing, but especially not when he’s playing as well as he is right now. He tumbled over James Reimer’s outstretched pad and into the boards in the second period. He came back, and then was taken out once more. He was apparently cleared to play the third, but Julien opted to remain on the side of caution. And then this happened on twitter and every other blog, so I’m going to post it as well.

Ssss…Ahhh…Ssss…Ahhh… (@YakovMironov)

Power play is still a stupid abortion of coaching.

With Thornton unlikely to return this week and Paille and Marchand both questionable for Wednesday, the Bruins have recalled Ryan Spooner. You all better think unsexy thoughts because he may not even play, but I’d be lying if I wasn’t excited to see what he can do with this limited opportunity. He’s the top forward prospect in the system right now, and has a definite future with the team. Additionally it’ll be a chance to see his sideways move along the sideboards, made famous in Kingston. SPOONMAN!

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One more sleep until the Bell Centre. If I have to hear that fucking goal horn and pathetically weak goal song I’m going to be upset, I heard it enough as they walked all over the Northeast division over the weekend, dominating their stupid matinée tradition for stupidheads.

Look for a goaltending futures overview within the next week. It’ll be good, I swear.

Mistakes and Lack of Execution Finally Strike

It was a fun run, wasn’t it?

The wonderful 5-0-1 start that masked poor performances against both the Devils, Hurricanes and Islanders. Late-game heroics and excitement seemed to make us forget about some of the very bad stretches. But here we are, WrestleMania versus the Sabres has come and gone and it was anything but. Eleven goals in the final two periods saw the Bruins dropped 7-4, and left some burning questions going into the weekend.

It was an exciting game, albeit sloppy with both sides playing no defense at times. Miller and Rask were surprisingly solid in an eleven goal affair, with Miller obviously having the better of the play. Miller stopped countless great scoring chances when the game hung in the balance, and along with Vanek was the reason for the two points, and statement.

This scene deleted from Cliffhanger.

Faces

Brad Marchand continues to look like a beast. Gorgeous move around Tyler ‘Pylon Since Calder’ Myers to put the Bruins up 2-1 immediately followed by a nice shot coming off the half boards. The second goal featured a screen by Seguin, who is doing all the right things amidst being unable to score goals himself. They will come. This line has been too good.

Did we just see the should-be third line? I think so. Now I don’t know what this means you do with Bourque, but having the two fastest wingers not named Seguin playing alongside each other centered by a guy like Kelly just worked last night. They finally got on the score sheet and the speed of Pevs and Paille created odd-man rushes and a handful of good chances.

Thomas Vanek was absolutely unreal. A noted Bruin killer, Vanek put up five goddamn points on the Bruins including (much like other Bruin killer Marian Gaborik) a hat trick. He was all over the ice and looked as good as I’ve ever seen him. On the same page, Ryan Miller kept this game from being a 9-7 loss with huge saves on Lucic throughout the game and Chara specifically down the stretch.

Heels

Holy shit was the Chara-Boychuk pairing ever horrendous last night? Chara rarely has a bad game, so he’s entitled, but a -3 rating and tons of bad pinches ultimately led to Thomas Vanek running a train and tanning Tuukka’s neck. Boychuk was similarly clueless and struggled to keep up with the Sabres top line.

You know what? The entire defense was pretty reprehensible. The Bruins had a four-minute power play squandered by poor positional play, causing Seidenberg to trip Pominville and cut the power play short. And kill the crowd.

The power play is complete dog shit still. And guess what? It really, really shows up when you lose, especially in this fashion. When you’re given opportunity after opportunity and can’t cash in, it’s going to ruin your good time. It looked decent at times, awful at others. The lines are still somewhat confusing, even sans Bourque. Coach Ward is an asshole so just fire him or something.

I’m putting Lindy Ruff in here because of the timeout. Not because I have any issue at all with it, but because of how many people were pissed off by this ultimate heel pro wrestling move.

Like a real man…

Round of applause for Shawn Thornton. He’s got more sack than every Sabre combined. He knew what he was in store for with Scott and he still hopped over the boards and did it. Reverse the roles and which of the Sabres actually goes toe-to-toe with Chara? None.

Team toughness is marginally increased when you add John Scott, and he plays four minutes. But when he’s sitting in the box for five, they’re still tiny and easily pushed around. Steve Ott? No fear.

Sadly Thornton was hurt and is unlikely to play this weekend (update: or for the next 7-10 days according to Chia). Paille is also questionable, leading to the emergency call-up of Jamie Tardif, who’d be making his first NHL appearance ever. He currently leads the Baby B’s in scoring, but AHL stars haven’t fared too well in Boston this season.

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Bruins and Leafs around the corner. A chance to continue to the domination from 2011-12 and a chance for Dougie to make something really, really awesome happen.

55 Minutes of NyQuil Hockey Leads Tuu a Win!

Holy shit. That game was pretty damn boring for long stretches, as most Devils/Bruins games are frankly, but it’s over and we all survived. Well, all of us that aren’t that Bruins fan who threw his dildo onto the ice for the shootout, he may not have made it out when they made Seguin re-shoot. But he scored, and Rask stood tall and we all cried tears of joy.

There really isn’t a lot to say about this game. The Devils only goal was a great shot through a screen on the power play, breaking the Bruins perfect streak – though they started a new mini-streak later thanks to the refs. It remains 1-0 until late in the third when the first line connected on a great three-way passing play before Horton finally found a chink in the armour of Hedberg. The Moose, I should mention, must have had some heavy armour on because he seemed to go down awfully easy.

Clarkson spoiling the shootout for everyone, letting us know who was going to score the winner…unless he meant Lucic.

The shootout was a long, intense affair, as the goalies continued to duel for six rounds. Seguin scored twice, thanks to some dickhead, and Kovalchuk made it look easier than Chelsea Handler in a mattress factory. The goalies stood on their heads from there, with a little help from posts and telegraphed shootout moves, before Marchand trickled one five-hole and Rask stoned Zidlicky. Thus protecting the lives of many, many milkcrates.

Faces/Noses

Top honours here are going to two individuals who have been monstrous in the Bruins 5-0-1 start: Tuukka Rask and Nathan Horton. Rask continues to put up staggering numbers and give his team a chance to win even in games where they struggle at times to find their offensive game. Horton has been in on every big Bruins goal for the last three games and is possessed out there, goatee or not (I miss it, to be honest). Their play more than makes up for whatever the hell is going on with both the third line and Coach Ward’s shitty power play fuckfest.

Seems time to give a little more love to the nosey one, Mr. Little Ball of Hate II. Marchand was an absolute dick all night tonight and scored the shootout winner to boot. His game has been solid all year and his pest level seems to elevate when his game does, or visa-versa. Either way it’s only a good thing. His line has struggled to finish chances at times this year – as one man on said line remains covered in non-shootout snakes – but he continues to find ways to make an impact. Keep being a dick, scoring big goals and putting Kleenex’s kids kids kids through college.

Shawn Thornton brings all the jam for all the toast. Love this man, you do too.

Heels

Power play still blows. Bourque on the power play still makes no sense. Krejci on the point still makes no sense. What the fuck is going on here? Coach Ward probably makes a very lucrative living while we bust our humps, or go through the effort to pretend we do, and that’s just annoying. Matt Kalman, a fine gentleman, proposed these power play units on twitter and goddamn it he’s onto something. Listen up, Coach WART (got ‘em), try these out.

Lucic-Krejci-Seguin Chara-Hamilton
Marchand-Bergeron-Peverley Seidenberg-Boychuk

Sign me up! Seems take away some of the biggest headscratchers on the ice, such as forwards not suited for the point, on the point, and Chris Bourque not providing a morale boost from the bench.

The third line was still pretty weak last night. They were slightly better, again, but slightly better than being pissed on still leaves a lot to be desired. Many are calling Bourque an AHL stud who just doesn’t have what it takes and I tend to agree. Maybe we’re too enamored with the name, maybe Julien is too worried to give a guy like Spooner a shot. One things for sure, I want Caron healthy and in the lineup ASAP, and that sort of feels weird to me.

Son, I am disappoint.

Perhaps the #48 is cursed on the Bruins, just look at this who’s who of ‘who the fuck?’…Hunwick, Hulbig, Robitaille, Knipscheer, Leach…it was doomed from the start.

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A much-needed days rest ahead before the battle against Buffalo. Will it actually be a battle or one of those things where we anticipate it like crazy and we get a 3-2 snoozer? The answer is it will be. Steve Ott is an asshole and these teams hate each other.

One has to wonder whether Patrick Kaleta will be in the lineup, however. On the same day Marek  vs. Wyshysnki talked of ‘hockey karma’, Kaleta left the game injured. I kind of want to see Lucic beat his ass again. This one’s gonna be FUN.

They Take 2, But It Khudobin Better

They’ve slain the giant! The giant who has struggled out of the gate and failed to make the playoffs for the last three seasons! The Boston Bruins finally exercised their demons of 2011-12 by beating the Hurricanes. And it wasn’t pretty for all 60, but when it was it was gorgeous.

Snakebitten no longer, Mr. Seguin can return to his clean, pristine Boston residence.

They came out gangbusters in the first 10 minutes, scoring on both the power play and penalty kill, both of which were beautifully executed and involved the ‘Largest in Captivity’, Big Z. The first was a gorgeous passing play on a hell of a PK (still perfect!) and the other on a puck that had eyes through a Lucic screen.

The wheels came off briefly in the second but the Bruins recovered with a solid third and a very strong finish. Dougie ‘Calder’ Hamilton exhibited the patience of a veteran to pass up a shot and feed a perfect pass through the slot over to Krejci for an open net slam dunk. The kid is wise beyond his years and I’m not going to stop telling you. Neither is anyone in the Bruins media or Pierre McGuire.

Faces

How about Nathan Horton and his jock removing dangle of Tim Gleason? This guy has come to play this year and has something to prove. The whole line has been fantastic but I speak for everyone who follows this team in saying it’s just awesome to see Horty happy and healthy. As for Gleason’s jock…

Rumor has it Kevin Westgarth only played 3:22 because he was trying to find the ladder.

The penalty kill is so awesome, going a perfect 6-for-6 and keeping their perfection for the season in tact. The passing play between Bergeron, Chara and Nose Face Killah perfectly sums up the frantic pace and smothering forecheck the Bruins penalty killers focus on.

It may have been on an empty net, but it was a goal…and technically a power play one at that! Tyler Seguin has been pretty snakebitten to start the year. Maybe it’s his lack of flame jersey and gold helmet…hey, I said flame jersey, Mr. Feaster, not Flames. Put away that big grin and 25-year, $400-million contract please. Anyway, it just seemed to be a struggle for Seguin, but something like this might be all it takes to get him on the board with the regularity we were all anticipating after his domination of the Swiss league.

Heels

Brutal turnovers and sloppy play late in the second almost cost the Bruins two points here. Another bad turnover by Thornton in the neutral zone (remember Pyatt’s goal last week?) and a gaffe by Chris Kelly off of a hard fore-check by Alex Semin led to the evaporation of a two goal lead going into the third, turning it into a tie game. Sloppy chunks of the game seem to be haunting the Bruins and eventually it will catch up them.

The third line was pretty weak again as a whole. They had a few good shifts and were much better than they were against the Islanders, which doesn’t say much at all. Chris Bourque was trucked out once again for the power play and didn’t contribute a thing, minus testing the PK once again by taking a poor offensive zone tripping call. Enough is enough.

Jeff Skinner’s apparent slewfoot at the end of the game on Bergy needs to mentioned. Watching the Canes feed (Centre Ice was not kind to me last night) I never had a chance to see the replay NESN gave. Check the YouTube link here and watch the action around 1:30 (thanks Puck Daddy). As noted in the story, this isn’t Skinner’s first time doing this. It’s becoming his Randy Savage elbow, and it’s gotta stop. Just look how mad the typically mild-mannered Bergeron gets. Clearly this is on the level of ‘The Bite’.

I don’t believe he was complementing his Spengler Cup performance.

No scheduled NHL hearings so clearly this won’t get a second look – at least not officially – but hopefully the league takes note. It’s such a dangerous play, whether it has a clear “upper-body motion” or not.

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Second half of a back-to-back tonight with the B’s back at the Garden taking on New Jersey. The Devils are off to a hot 3-0-1 start and the concerns (again) about Brodeur’s age and workload seem to once again be exaggerated. Rask will be back in, hopefully McQuaid too.

‘Power Play’, Or How I Learned to Drink, Cry and Forget

It should come as no surprise that Claude Julien is doing a little damage control on the power play with the media right now. It should also come as no surprise that he has to – because it’s been woefully bad for years now. About as many years as Marc Savard has been injured actually, but who’s counting?

I am, it’s been over two years and I’ll never be over it. Fuck you, Matt Cooke.

Just take a look and see, keeping in mind Savard played only 41 games in 2009-10 and 25 games in 2010-11. You guessed it though, that gorgeous PP% in 2008-09? Yup, his last full season with the team.

2008-09 – 23.6%, 4^th Overall
2009-10 – 16.6%, 24^th Overall
2010-11 – 16.2%, 20^th Overall
2011-12 – 17.2%, 15^th Overall
2012-13 – 5.0%, 29^th Overall

The proof is in the numbers: they’re putrid, horrible and evoke feelings of what it’s like to be a Toronto Maple Leafs fan. Personnel has come and gone, units and formations shifted slightly, and yet we still deal with this problem.

The Bruins have have playoff success and regular season success despite all of this. But at some point you have to look at all the potential goals left off the board – such as the countless squandered power plays with monumentous consequence against the Capitals in the playoffs last year – and find some way to turn it all around.

Exclusive footage of Coach Ward’s power play formation tool. Not pictured: his vibrating football table that was recently retired.

Assistant Coach Geoff Ward

While the players and Julien take the brunt of the harassment for the failing PP, Coach Ward is the man who works closest with the two units. He joined the Bruins in August of 2007, bringing 12 years of experience in the OHL, AHL and even in Germany.

He’s obviously a Cup winner, with the Bruins in 2011. A Cup that was exponentially more impressive given the horrendous power play displayed for the first three series’ (the finals were under 20% as well). At the time, Ward applauded the Bruins for sticking to system, a system that was massively flawed.

This is the face of a man who was just told power play isn’t ONLY a Vtech sponsored giveaway on Sportsnet in Canada.

I just don’t understand how a personnel change or SOMETHING hasn’t happened. Does he possess nude photos of Jeremy Jacobs? Is there a superstitiuous key to his presence on the team? He must be a massive contributor elsewhere, though he’s one of three assistant coaches, for his job to seem locked in.

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The Bruins used a lot of their “training camp” prior to this season to work out the kinks in the power play, but through four games, nothing has changed and the media and fans are putting more and more pressure on Julien and the team.

The frustration is obvious. Just check out this quote from Julien (per Joe Haggerty at CSNNE.com).

“I could throw a lot of things at you whether it was LA winning last year without a [good] power play or Tampa Bay not even practicing the power play this year because they know you can’t win a Cup without strong five-on-five play. But I think people need to step back and maybe take a breath a little bit . . . and not make a mountain out of a power play. We want it to work well, but it’s not the end of the world. We’re still winning hockey games.”

You can almost feel the full-transformation from Julien to Bill happening as he speaks (picture the voice in your head, it’s almost sad). Almost a sad plea to just be happy with the two points and not to worry about all the bad stuff – like playoff series’ losses – he didn’t mention, and focus on stuff like a non-playoff team from last year who now have a top-5 power play.

There’s no quick fix, at least not in sight. It seems to be a ‘keep hammering the same units out there and something has to give…right?’ type of mentality.

Here’s a list of four things I’d like to see, or not see, from this monstrosity:

• Give Seguin free rein on the power play. Allow him to effectively run it, utilizing his creativity and vision, and work the half wall.
• More Dougie Hamilton! It’s clear this kid has what it takes to be creative and most importantly GET SHOTS THROUGH.
• Get Chris Bourque off the power play and never, ever try it again. I get it, he’s Ray’s kid, he’s not a PP guy in any way. Enough of this.
• David Krejci doesn’t work on the point, it doesn’t suit his play style and doesn’t allow his prowess down-low to benefit the guy(s) in front.

That’s it for now. Came on to publish this right after two terrible turnovers blew a two goal second period lead in Carolina. It burns…more on that later I’m sure.